Ya know, I was going to write this blog post with this fancy analogy regarding life and all that happy horse-shit, then I decided no, fuck that.
Something about life is a dance, blah blah. --->
I believe this short quote says a lot.
"Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." - William Penn
For most of us I don't think anything is more true.
The other day I tweeted something about leaving Eve. Admittedly I had a few beers in me after a long 12 hour night shift. Perhaps I did not convey my exact plans/idea well. In fact, I did not initially tweet that I was leaving. I tweeted to Marc Scaurus asking him to remove my blog from the Block Pack list as well as the Eve Bloggers Portal list. When asked what this request was about I muttered something about LIFE!
Increasingly over the past month or so the voices in my head have been getting clearer. I haven't been real happy playing Eve anymore. I haven't been the most excited about what my alliance is doing or isn't doing. Or, hell... I don't even know anymore what the fuck we're "supposed" to be doing. I used to be someone in that core group of guys, corp, alliance(s).
Also nagging at me is the fact that my youngest and only surviving brother is battling brain cancer. This is a battle he is going to lose, unfortunately. And with stuff like that it brings real perspective to ones life.I've already lost one brother. I'm about to lose another. The really sad part is he's only 40. Now, I'm a pretty hardened dude. I was a volunteer firefighter starting at the age of 14 for just shy of 21 consecutive years. I've mentioned this before. But the point is I've seen horrible things up close and in person. I've seen things that, like war veterans, I won't talk about. At times I feel like I'm broken because issues like the one my brother is facing, while they affect me, I don't feel as though they affect me like they should or would any one else. It's because of those things that I've seen that have allowed me to harden myself to remain as distant and disconnected emotionally from bad situations as possible. It's just something that you learn naturally that comes with that job. The down side is when these unfortunate things happen to those closest to us. The disconnect/distance coping mechanism is automatic and something I can not control.
When you couple these things together, combined with the passion to truly and regularly blog about Eve, something that I've never really had to begin with, it all starts to write itself on the wall.
There are some really brilliant people out there who blog about this awesome game, Eve Online. I'm not one of them. I never have been. Some of them I do not agree with. Some of them are so arrogant and presumptuous that you could cut the air around their phoniness with a butter knife. But there are many brilliant writers non the less. Some leave me wondering how they have the time in their life to not only keep up with the every day happenings within and surrounding the game, but to write a blog, as well as perhaps, do other projects surrounding Eve. Not to mention real life. All I can surmise is many have jobs that afford them hours of meta gaming which allows them to actually play the game in their free time. That, or most of these brilliant people are robots. I think Stan over at Freebooted may be one of those Cyborgs.
Anyhow, I do not think, at least at this time, that I am leaving Eve for good. I have three (3) accounts one of which I rarely use. I will likely unsub that account and continue on with my other two. But at a reduced frequency. I am partial to my very first ever Eve character who is nicely over 60 million skill points. Not a lot compared to some. But it is a nice number. Harrigan is close only a few million behind. Harrigan is me and I him. I can't throw him away. I'd sooner bio mass him over selling him. Or I'd flat out give him to Sindel Pellion. For some ungodly reason this cool as hell girl loves me. Ask her I'm not lying. She's about as cool as they come. And ruthless. Just like me. <3<3 Sin!
I am however, going to stop blogging about Eve. I haven't decided yet but I am leaning in the direction of leaving this last blog post on the blog, wipe everything Eve related off the blog and continue a blog using this domain, www.meanharri.com as a blog to write about anything I fucking feel like. And that would mostly be about real life.
I have always had this undercurrent of guilt because I've sat here for the past nearly 4 years playing Eve Online every spare and free minute that I have. I can't keep wasting valuable yet finite time like this anymore. Look at what is passing us by. LOOK! Look God damn it. Fucking look. Sitting in front of this computer monitor playing Eve, as awesome as it is, Twittering, blogging, forum whoring, as great as the Eve meta-game is, (sigh) I just can't keep this regular wasting of precious time and life going when there is so much more to life. Like life itself.
I'm a motorcycle riding, scotch drinking, cigar smoking, kind of guy. I love my country, the constitution, the history and sacredness that is our founding here in the U.S.A. I salute our vets and respect them more than my own father. I am not a 24/7 computer gaming nerd that can sit here and continue to rot away doing fuck all worth of nothing. Pull your pants down, shit in one hand and add up what you have in the other that was provided by Eve. I mean actually real, tangibly provided by Eve in your other hand. Nothing. Aside from maybe a couple of people meeting their dream lover in real life through Eve... whatever. You see my point. If not, well, I'm not here to argue stupid cocktard (thanks Rundle) semantics with you. Fuck off.
I've kept this blog going longer than I thought I could. What amazes me even more are those of you out there that have read it and continued to do so. I can't thank you enough. But I'm just a small fish in a very large tank. Seriously though. Those of you who took the time to read what I had to say, and those who have commented, thank you. You don't know what that means to me. But it means a lot. And who knows. Maybe I'll pop off a thing or two about Eve in this space once in awhile.
For those not afraid. For those not at all aligned with political correctness, or those who are and want to be insulted, check back soon. I'm sure to have something to say soon. It may not be Eve related but if you've read this blog all along you weren't here for tender loving kindness. Nor was I.
As far as this blog is concerned regarding Eve... So long and thanks for all the... FUCK YOU! You thought I would finish that over used retarded moronic line, didn't you? Ha Ha!
07 peace love 73's over and out 0/
I am Harrigan Vonstudly a.k.a MeanHarri wavin' fo' and one tiptoeing across these snow caps and I just got down...
Something about life is a dance, blah blah. --->
I believe this short quote says a lot.
"Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." - William Penn
For most of us I don't think anything is more true.
The other day I tweeted something about leaving Eve. Admittedly I had a few beers in me after a long 12 hour night shift. Perhaps I did not convey my exact plans/idea well. In fact, I did not initially tweet that I was leaving. I tweeted to Marc Scaurus asking him to remove my blog from the Block Pack list as well as the Eve Bloggers Portal list. When asked what this request was about I muttered something about LIFE!
Increasingly over the past month or so the voices in my head have been getting clearer. I haven't been real happy playing Eve anymore. I haven't been the most excited about what my alliance is doing or isn't doing. Or, hell... I don't even know anymore what the fuck we're "supposed" to be doing. I used to be someone in that core group of guys, corp, alliance(s).
Also nagging at me is the fact that my youngest and only surviving brother is battling brain cancer. This is a battle he is going to lose, unfortunately. And with stuff like that it brings real perspective to ones life.I've already lost one brother. I'm about to lose another. The really sad part is he's only 40. Now, I'm a pretty hardened dude. I was a volunteer firefighter starting at the age of 14 for just shy of 21 consecutive years. I've mentioned this before. But the point is I've seen horrible things up close and in person. I've seen things that, like war veterans, I won't talk about. At times I feel like I'm broken because issues like the one my brother is facing, while they affect me, I don't feel as though they affect me like they should or would any one else. It's because of those things that I've seen that have allowed me to harden myself to remain as distant and disconnected emotionally from bad situations as possible. It's just something that you learn naturally that comes with that job. The down side is when these unfortunate things happen to those closest to us. The disconnect/distance coping mechanism is automatic and something I can not control.
When you couple these things together, combined with the passion to truly and regularly blog about Eve, something that I've never really had to begin with, it all starts to write itself on the wall.
There are some really brilliant people out there who blog about this awesome game, Eve Online. I'm not one of them. I never have been. Some of them I do not agree with. Some of them are so arrogant and presumptuous that you could cut the air around their phoniness with a butter knife. But there are many brilliant writers non the less. Some leave me wondering how they have the time in their life to not only keep up with the every day happenings within and surrounding the game, but to write a blog, as well as perhaps, do other projects surrounding Eve. Not to mention real life. All I can surmise is many have jobs that afford them hours of meta gaming which allows them to actually play the game in their free time. That, or most of these brilliant people are robots. I think Stan over at Freebooted may be one of those Cyborgs.
Anyhow, I do not think, at least at this time, that I am leaving Eve for good. I have three (3) accounts one of which I rarely use. I will likely unsub that account and continue on with my other two. But at a reduced frequency. I am partial to my very first ever Eve character who is nicely over 60 million skill points. Not a lot compared to some. But it is a nice number. Harrigan is close only a few million behind. Harrigan is me and I him. I can't throw him away. I'd sooner bio mass him over selling him. Or I'd flat out give him to Sindel Pellion. For some ungodly reason this cool as hell girl loves me. Ask her I'm not lying. She's about as cool as they come. And ruthless. Just like me. <3<3 Sin!
I am however, going to stop blogging about Eve. I haven't decided yet but I am leaning in the direction of leaving this last blog post on the blog, wipe everything Eve related off the blog and continue a blog using this domain, www.meanharri.com as a blog to write about anything I fucking feel like. And that would mostly be about real life.
I have always had this undercurrent of guilt because I've sat here for the past nearly 4 years playing Eve Online every spare and free minute that I have. I can't keep wasting valuable yet finite time like this anymore. Look at what is passing us by. LOOK! Look God damn it. Fucking look. Sitting in front of this computer monitor playing Eve, as awesome as it is, Twittering, blogging, forum whoring, as great as the Eve meta-game is, (sigh) I just can't keep this regular wasting of precious time and life going when there is so much more to life. Like life itself.
I'm a motorcycle riding, scotch drinking, cigar smoking, kind of guy. I love my country, the constitution, the history and sacredness that is our founding here in the U.S.A. I salute our vets and respect them more than my own father. I am not a 24/7 computer gaming nerd that can sit here and continue to rot away doing fuck all worth of nothing. Pull your pants down, shit in one hand and add up what you have in the other that was provided by Eve. I mean actually real, tangibly provided by Eve in your other hand. Nothing. Aside from maybe a couple of people meeting their dream lover in real life through Eve... whatever. You see my point. If not, well, I'm not here to argue stupid cocktard (thanks Rundle) semantics with you. Fuck off.
I've kept this blog going longer than I thought I could. What amazes me even more are those of you out there that have read it and continued to do so. I can't thank you enough. But I'm just a small fish in a very large tank. Seriously though. Those of you who took the time to read what I had to say, and those who have commented, thank you. You don't know what that means to me. But it means a lot. And who knows. Maybe I'll pop off a thing or two about Eve in this space once in awhile.
For those not afraid. For those not at all aligned with political correctness, or those who are and want to be insulted, check back soon. I'm sure to have something to say soon. It may not be Eve related but if you've read this blog all along you weren't here for tender loving kindness. Nor was I.
As far as this blog is concerned regarding Eve... So long and thanks for all the... FUCK YOU! You thought I would finish that over used retarded moronic line, didn't you? Ha Ha!
07 peace love 73's over and out 0/
I am Harrigan Vonstudly a.k.a MeanHarri wavin' fo' and one tiptoeing across these snow caps and I just got down...
